Brew club minutes for 4 Jan 2014:
Welcome to the........

We interrupt these minutes for an important alert!

WANTED by the International Court of Justice!
the "Kolsch Bandit"
Have You Seen This Man?

Jet-setting Leisure Criminal sometimes called "the Jackal" or, lately, the "Kolsch Bandit". Wanted by various governments for serial misdemeanors. Whereabouts desired mostly to keep him out of their country.
Set record making INTERPOL's most wanted list.
Condemned by the German Republic for 463 violations of the Reinheitsgebot (the "German Beer Purity Law) due to compulsion to skinny dip in fermenting beer vats.
Presence cited as cause for panic in the European Community and destabilization of the EURO.
Proclaimed an Ex-Patriot of Earth by UN General Assembly.
Leaked as an American Citizen by Edward Snowden, U.S. National Security Agency retains plausible deniability and will not confirm same.
If you see this man, carefully give him all of your beer and immediately call the Brewing Rabble Hotline at 1-888-PEA-ALOT. A Brewing Rabble Action-Squad will be immediately dispatched to help drink your beer.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled minutes. Thank you for your attention.

The meeting took place at Peewee’s Playhouse. Many brewclubbers were disappointed by the fact that there was no Penny cartoon but they were refreshed by the impromptu skit performed by:

Laurence Fishburne as Cowboy Curtis

Paul Reubens as Jim Irwin  and

Lynn Marie Stewart as Miss Yvonne

This pundit found it to be entertaining and just erotic enough for the audience at hand. Bravo.

Treasurer’s Report:

$599.51 USD

2 sacks Pale malt  for sale @ $40.00 ea.

2 sacks ESB malt reserved for George but anyone can have for $40.00 ea.

1 sack (25 kilo) Munich malt 20 L @ $1.00 lb

~ 40 lb Crystal malt 60 L @ $1.00 lb

Old Business:

Most of our business is “olde and mouldy”

New Business:

Jack has been tasked with making an updated list of members with phone numbers and email contacts. (pip pip, Jack)

Jerry and his band of brew club brothers are going on a grain run to Armstrong B.C. and are promising to regurgitate 30 bags of grain at the next meeting, so have your mash tuns ready.

There was a report of a brewpub on Five Mile Road with a great IPA, Waddel’s.

There is a wine bar across from Sporty’s in Chewelah, open 1600-2100 hrs in Chewelah.

Regular meeting was closed and 2014 dues were paid by the following:

1. Craig McCarty

2. Joel Shank

3. Nick Force

4. Jim Irwin

5. Dave Shaw (new member, XL tee shirt please)

6. Pat & Chris Garvey

7. Larry Harvey (new member, XXL tee shirt please)

8. Merge Edwards

9. Bill Beatty

10. Ferd Velez

11. Barry Madison

12. Jerry Prolo ($20.00 promissory note, payable in February with no interest)

Special meeting, election of officers:

President,     Sylvia Elisabeth (Smith)

Vice President,     Craig McCarty

Secretary,     Jack Smith

Treasurer,     Pat Garvey

Sensitivity Counselor,     Nick Force

Bathroom Attendant,     Nick Johnson

Sergeant at Arms,     Larry Harvey

Sparge Bastard,     Jim Pitts

Hop Nazi,     Jerry Prolo

Minority Ombudsman,     Ferdinand Velez

Meeting was euthanized

Next meeting 1 February at Chancellor Sylvia’s estate, noon, potluck, the usual.